Catching Up
by Feagalad
Summary: "…And so, I got our hands free and ran into the forest. It was pitch-black and we stumbled over roots and rocks as we fled our pursuers." (Movieverse)
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I own a mere copy of LotR: The Return of the King Extended Edition...that does not mean I own Lord of the Rings.

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"…And so, I got our hands free and ran into the forest. It was pitch-black and we stumbled over roots and rocks as we fled our pursuers."

"There was only one orc, Pip." Merry said.

Pippin wrinkled his nose at the interruption. "But he was big and ugly enough for a whole hoard of 'em! Anyways, we got into the trees and had stopped to catch our breath when we heard the thudding footsteps. A moment later, Grishnak burst through the trees and chased us with his big sword."

Frodo's blue eyes looked at Pippin. "What did you do?"

"Well, we climbed a tree. This is an easy feat for me, of course, but poor Merry was sweating like a pig. Brandybucks don't like heights!"

"I thought all hobbits dislike heights." Gimli rumbled.

Pippin shrugged. "Tooks climb trees and Brandybucks swim, Frodo does both, so we don't know what's wrong with him."

"I'm Mad Baggins' heir. Folk seem to use that to explain everything about me." Frodo said with a wry smile, prompting chuckles from the other hobbits.

"_Anyways_!" Pippin said. "Grishnak pulled Merry out of the tree and was going to stab him. I was looking over my shoulder, giving Merry helpful advice…"

Merry snorted.

"…when I heard a groan and felt the bark under my hands quiver. I turned around and found myself eye to eye with the tree. It plucked me off…"

"Actually, you fell." Merry said and Pippin glared.

"It _plucked me off_ and held me around the waist, then it stepped on the orc. I told Merry to run, but he didn't get very far before the tree picked him up too." Pippin snorted. "Then, genius Merry, tried to be diplomatic with the tree!"

Frodo stared. "You've never been in the Old Forest, have you?" He asked. "You can't reason with a tree, you ought to know that!"

"Well, Mr. Frodo." Sam put in. "Trees ain't supposed to catch falling or pick up running hobbits either."

Pippin rolled his eyes. "Yes, if I could get back to my story: Merry tried to reason with the tree and told it we weren't orcs. He told it we were hobbits, clearly forgetting the fact that no one around here seems to have heard of hobbits before we came."

"Humph, not that you were much help." Merry muttered, ignoring Pippin's glare. "You were too busy telling me not to encourage it!"

"As I was saying, the tree had never seen or heard of hobbits before, so it thought what Mer said was 'orcish mischief'. He started squeezing us and said something about the White Wizard, which we thought was Saruman. When he dropped us right in front of the old chap, we were shocked to realize who it was!"


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: **Several people have encouraged me to continue this series - so here is a second chapter. Kudos to anyone who can spot the Amazing Grace quote in this. (hint: we're talkin' the audio dramatization...not the movie)

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"And then I shouted **"****_No, you fool - fire it the other way!"_**Following which our dear pointy-eared friend promptly turned and let loose another round of arrows, narrowly avoiding hitting poor, flustered Aragorn - missing only by mere inches."

Legolas frowned at Gimli. "Why do I have no recollection of this memorable event, dwarf?"

Gimli, by now deeply enthralled with the telling of his story, waved a hand that was not entirely steady at the elf in a dismissive manner and called loudly to the barmaid for another round of ales. This action caused a sly smile to drift over Legolas' fair face. "Well - now that our companion's wildly exaggerated fabrication has come to a close..." He ignored an indignant snort of protest from his bearded companion smugly and went on. "...I believe it is my turn to tell a story."

Frodo accepted a new ale from Gimli and took a sip. "Please do, Legolas." He said eagerly. "I can tell from your face that it is sure to be a good one."

Legolas' smirk spread into an alarming grin. Gimli, having seen this smile once before (when Legolas had informed Eowyn gravely that Aragorn simply _loved _stew) felt a sudden stirring of trepidation deep within him.

"Ah, where to begin?" Legolas mused, tapping the rim of his mug in contemplation. "Oh of course - the Battle for Helm's Deep was over and we had concluded business with Curunir..."

"Who?" Pippin piped up.

"Saruman - now hush." That was Merry.

"Indeed, forgive me." Legolas took a contemplative sip of his ale. "After our eventful trip to Isengard..."

"Where we found two truants consuming an alarming amount of salted pork and pipeweed." Gimli muttered into his beard in a manner that was very audible.

"Ah, but my dear Gimli." Pippin smiled charmingly as Legolas glared at the dwarf for the interruption. "We had to use up the weed before Treebeard noticed what was going on and became offended."

Merry nodded vigorously. "Aye - we just don't know, it could have been a distant relative."

Gimli merely huffed. Legolas rolled his eyes. "Would you mind if I continued - or should Frodo and I adjourn until we get back to the Citadel?"

"No, no." Merry said. "Go on, Legolas. We won't interrupt again."

"Very well." Legolas went on. "So we returned with great haste to Edoras for the Honor Feast of the Fallen Warriors. It was at this feast that yon dwarf and I engaged in a duel of the highest wit and endurance."

"'Twas a drinking game - not a bloody session of chess." Gimli muttered into his beard again - this time Legolas paid no mind and simply went on talking.

"The king's good nephew - Eomer Eomundsson - was kind enough to act as moderator. Very neatly and precisely I took down opponant after opponant until 'twas only Master Gimli and myself left. We engaged in an intense and - at least on my side - cultured duel to determine the ultimate winner."

"Who did win?" Pippin piped up, having finished his drink and no longer having something to occupy his mouth. "Merry and I were rather busy at the time, y'know."

Legolas smiled. "I did."

"You?" Frodo raised one brow skeptically - having heard Bilbo's stories of the captain and the butler in the elvenking's cellars numerous times and having less than high expectations for the alcohol tolerance of the elves.

Legolas looked rather offended at the disbelief. "Yes indeed - I won. Our fine dwarf put forth a valiant enough effort, but was felled shortly after consuming his thirtieth tankard." He took a demonstrative sip of ale. "It was a rather impressive fall too - I have yet to see anyone capable of performing such an elaborate and graceful summersault whilst stone-drunk."

Frodo whistled through his teeth and looked at Gimli who was rather red under his beard. Legolas smirked in victory and applied himself to his ale to whet his whistle after such a long tale - ignoring Gimli's disgruntled comment of: "And you accused _me_ of overexaggeration and fabrication?"


End file.
